English Language

• 2 paragraphs are enough – 1 or 2 extensively analysed quotes in each (some of my example answers are longer than what is needed to get top grades).
• Write about the author’s purpose (i.e. why they have chosen a specific language technique).
• Remember to always embed quotes.
• Try to write about specific effects rather than vague and generalised comments.

How does the writer use language here to describe the effects of the storm?

What had wakened him was the noise from the storm: wind lashing the trees, rain on the rooftop, and thunder. He turned on the light with a sensation of being adrift in a boat and pushed closer to the bulk of the large dog sleeping beside him. He pictured the roaring Pacific Ocean a few blocks from his house, spilling in furious waves against the rocks. He lay listening to the storm and thinking about the black bird and about his mother, waiting for the pounding in his chest to die down. He was still tangled in the images of his bad dream.

In the extract, the writer uses the technique of an extended metaphor of being ‘adrift in a boat’ in order to display how isolated the storm makes the young boy feel. The notion of being ‘adrift’ conjures connotations of insecurity, danger and the fear in the unknown, which is perhaps a metaphor for the absence of his mum and therefore creating these feelings of vulnerability. This can be highlighted by the fact that his ‘dog’, although ‘large’ and therefore perhaps represents protection, is ‘sleeping’, and therefore the boy is unable to communicate or play him, perhaps reflecting how he feels completely devoid of human interaction due to the ill nature of his mother. Through this description, the writer portrays the effect the storm has on the boy, how it elevates his fears of isolation.

Furthermore, the writer’s use of specific verbs such as ‘spilling in’ ‘tangled’ and ‘pounding in his chest’ feel almost out of place in the text, especially the idea that the waves are ‘spilling in…against the rocks’. The writer could be perhaps indicating that the boy feels as if he is drowning under the ‘furious waves’ with the water ‘spilling in’-to his lungs. This idea could suggest that the storm provokes a fear of death that the young boy may associate with his fear that his mother will die.

How does the writer use language here to describe the Tyrannosaurus Rex?

It came on great oiled, resilient, striding legs. It towered thirty feet above half of the trees, a great evil god, folding its delicate watchmaker’s claws close to its oily reptilian chest. Each lower leg was a piston, a thousand pounds of white bone, sunk in thick ropes of muscle, sheathed over in a gleam of pebbled skin like the armour of a terrible warrior. Each thigh was a ton of meat, ivory, and steel mesh. And from the great breathing cage of the upper body those two delicate arms dangled out front, arms with hands which might pick up and examine men like toys, while the snake neck coiled. And the head itself, a ton of sculptured stone, lifted easily upon the sky. Its mouth gaped, exposing a fence of teeth like daggers. Its eyes rolled, ostrich eggs, empty of all expression save hunger. It closed its mouth in a death grin. It ran, its pelvic bones crushing aside trees and bushes, its taloned feet clawing damp earth, leaving prints six inches deep wherever it settled its weight.

The writer describes the Tyrannosaurus Rex to be a colossal and intimidating creature, yet one which is objectified by the narrator in order to display Travis’ perspective of the T-rex. Describing it with ‘great oiled’ legs and an ‘oily reptilian chest’, connotes machinery, which gives the sense of the predator’s immense size, perhaps implying that its weight is such a burden on the ‘legs’ that it must be ‘oiled’ to allow proper function. However, this also portrays the T-rex as some inanimate tool, or piece of machinery that humans can manipulate. Furthermore, the writer, through the metaphor ‘a great evil god’, creates irony as despite the fact that it is a ‘god’, they are hunted for and killed, which again portrays it as more of a symbol or object rather than a living organism.

The writer further deifies the creature by describing its head as ‘a ton of sculptured stone’, as if it is already dead, and as if the spectators see it as a something to be displayed as proof of their victory. Through the adjective ‘sculptured’ the writer forms the visual image of an intricate and man-made work of art, suggesting that it can only be truly appreciated when dead, heightening the reader’s sympathy for this ‘meat’ that is ‘empty of all expression’.

Through the semantic field of battle, the reader is made to feel sympathy for the T-rex because it is depicted as a piece of weaponry with a leg that was a ‘piston’ and ‘pebbled skin’ that was ‘like the armour of a terrible warrior’. The comparison to a ‘terrible warrior’ suggests justification for its murder – portraying it as something that humans can carelessly use and sacrifice for their own benefits.

In addition, through the metaphors that describe its teeth as ‘a fence’ and eyes as ‘ostrich eggs’, the T-rex is depicted as this massive, unknown creature because to be able to describe the sheer size, the writer must compare each body part to things that seem huge in the reader’s world. Furthermore, through the simple first clause ‘It ran’ followed by a comma, the simple action is emphasised, and as a result, reinforcing the huge impact this small action has on everything surrounding the T-rex.

How does the writer use language here to describe Rosabel’s bus journey home?

Rosabel looked out of the windows; the street was blurred and misty, but light striking on the panes turned their dullness to opal and silver, and the jewellers’ shops seen through this were fairy palaces. Her feet were horribly wet, and she knew the bottom of her skirt and petticoat would be coated with black, greasy mud. There was a sickening smell of warm humanity – it seemed to be oozing out of everybody in the bus – and everybody had the same expression, sitting so still, staring in front of them. Rosabel stirred suddenly and unfastened the two top buttons of her coat… she felt almost stifled. Through her half-closed eyes, the whole row of people on the opposite seat seemed to resolve into one meaningless, staring face.

Overall, the passage depicts the monotonous routine that Rosabel goes through every day and displays the awful effect that poverty has on people living in London, such as Rosabel. Through the transformation of the pane’s ‘dullness to opal and silver’, the writer illustrates Rosabel’s wandering mind during the bus journey home and how she desires ‘opal and silver’ jewellery, causing her to fall into her imagination. Comparing the jewellers’ shops to ‘fairy palaces’ in a metaphor gives connotations of fictional stories, demonstrating the great economic distance between Rosabel and the jewellery. Through this way, they are made unreal to her – a luxury that she aspires to have.

As the passage continues, the semantic field of dirt and disgust repulse the reader with the ‘black, greasy mud’ and ‘sickening smell’. Through the addition of the adjectives ‘black’ and ‘greasy’ to the noun ‘mud’, we get the sense of the horrid environments, polluted by the oil from cars, making the ‘mud’ ‘greasy’. Furthermore, the alliteration in ‘sickening smell’ coupled with the verb ‘oozing’ almost personifies the ‘smell’, making it seem like some creature that is always lurking by the bus. Through this, we further understand that this is a common and recurring experience for Rosabel shown through the ease at which the writer describes this smell.

Furthermore, Rosabel’s depressing and melancholic reality is further heightened by the final longer sentence. This heightens the pointlessness in her journey and through using a comma after the adjective ‘meaningless’, the reader is made to focus on the ‘staring face’, reflecting how, ultimately, this ‘staring face’ is hers.

How does the writer use language here to describe the garden?

Rosie had made a quick check of the unfamiliar garden before letting the children go out to play. The bottom half of the garden was an overgrown mess, a muddle of trees and shrubs. An ancient mulberry tree stood at the centre. Its massive twisted branches drooped to the ground in places, its knuckles in the earth like a gigantic malformed hand. The wintry sun hung low in the sky and the gnarled growth threw long twisted shadows across the undergrowth within its cage. The trunk of the tree was snarled with the tangled ivy that grew up through the broken bricks and chunks of cement, choking it. The path that led down towards the fence at the bottom, which marked the garden off from an orchard beyond, disappeared into a mass of nettles and brambles before it reached the padlocked door.

The passage begins, describing the garden through the semantic field of chaos and mess, with adjectives such as ‘unfamiliar’, ‘overgrown’ and ‘a muddle’. Through this, the writer creates an immediate atmosphere of disarray that reflects the constant worry of a mother. The ‘ancient mulberry tree’ that ‘stood at the centre’ mimics the only unchanging thing in the mother’s life. Furthermore, through personifying it with ‘knuckles in the earth’ coupled with the simile ‘like a gigantic malformed hand’, the reader further gets a sense how even the unchanging ‘ancient’ factors of Rosie’s life are ‘malformed’. Despite this, the personification evokes a sense of safety, as if this tree in the garden with its ‘knuckles’ and ‘hand’ will protect her children, and may therefore be a symbol of reassurance to Rosie. Through this description of the garden, we understand that despite the unfamiliarity, it provides a secure feeling both in the reader and Rosie.

In the alliteration in ‘broken bricks’, the strong plosive sounds create an opposite effect to the previously portrayed ‘mulberry tree’. It emphasises on the idea that these ‘broken bricks’ and ‘chunks of cement’ are purposefully hurting the beauty of the garden. This interests the reader, as we are curious to understand how the garden had become so desolate and uncared for – perhaps because Rosie, as a mother, has no time for it.

In addition, through the oxymoronic image of a ‘wintry sun’, the writer conveys an air of mystery, making their garden seen almost surreal. However, despite this, the verb ‘grew up’ connotes childhood, therefore evoking a feeling of nostalgia in the reader. The use of verbs such as ‘gnarled’ and ‘snarled’, which create animalistic imagery, further heighten the sense that the garden is one whole organism. This idea reflects how it has grown and developed over time to form this beautiful mess of nature that the reader can appreciate.

As the passage comes to an end, the disappearance of the ‘path’ and the writer’s choice of the adjective ‘padlocked’ creates an air of mystery. Through this, the reader is intrigued as to how this ‘path’ of ‘padlocked door’ may interact with the plot.

• 2 paragraphs are enough (but always remember to write about the beginning and the end).
• Write about the author’s purpose (i.e. why they have chosen a specific structural technique).
• Write about how and why the structure and focus changes.
• Always find the biggest change in focus (the turning point).

How has the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader?

In the beginning of the extract, Bates employs a very long extended and descriptive sentence in order to depict the van. Through this, Bates introduces the reader to this family by immediately exhausting them, therefore creating a very tedious and incessant tone, perhaps reflecting the way in which Alice must enjoy her father’s constant commands. Through this, we as readers are able to empathise with Alice, and this can be furthered by the writers use of a circular narrative. By beginning and ending with references to the ‘chrysanthemums’, Bates elevates how Alice may be stuck in this continuous loop of simply obeying her father’s orders in a dull and monotonous routine.

Furthermore, through the use of the very short monosyllabic dialogue between Hartop and his family, Bates juxtaposes with the introductory paragraph. The minor sentence ‘no.’ as Alice responds displays how communication with her father is kept to a bare minimum. This is coupled with the ending of the extract when Alice responds to her father’s outburst of ‘do something. Go on. Go on!’ simply by ‘picking up the flowers, walking away and varnishing’. Bates juxtaposes Hartop’s repeated imperative exclamatory sentences with a list of Alice’s motion to describe how emotionally unresponsive she is to her father, implying that it is such a regular occurrence that she has become immune to his temper. In addition, Bates repeatedly begins sentences with connectives such as ‘and’ or ‘but’ creating the sense that thoughts and actions flow onto multiple sentences and yet are separated. This suggests a fragmented and rigid tone almost as if the extract is just a list of facts with perhaps an element of indifference to where sentence is start and stop, elevating the reader’s sympathy for the women in the family as under Hartop’s rigid control the entire family appear to have become indifferent to each other.

Moreover, as Alice is on her journey back, Bates also employs the motif of the ‘rain and the darkness’, reflecting her melancholic mood, and how, similar to the incessant rain, this mood of hers has become a temporary part of her character. Through this, we can understand Alice’s situation on a deeper, more thoughtful level, so are intrigued as to whether her situation will ever improve.

How has the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader?

The extract is from the middle of a short story, making the reader anticipate a fast rise in action to the climax of the story, however it begins with the very simple sentence ‘the jungle was high and the jungle was broad’. This immediately establishes a sense of confidence in the spectators and the writer uses the adjectives ‘high’ and ‘broad’ in order to later compare the enormous size of the T Rex, which ‘towered 30 feet above half of the trees’, to the seemingly huge ‘jungle’. The limited description of the surroundings at the beginning of the extract with only references to some ‘sounds’ and vague comments such as ‘broad’ reflects how the characters in this story are in an unknown environment, and therefore the reader also takes this journey with them as they are told little of the surroundings.

Through lines 10 to 12, the writer uses several short simple sentences, which mimic the tension and the lack of noise experienced when there is a sense of panic. There is a very clear change in atmosphere signalled by the adverbial ‘Suddenly’. Where before the tone was very calm and the ‘twitterings’ and quiet noises created a feel of a beautiful and peaceful setting, this completely changes when ‘it all ceased’, and therefore is a clear turning point where the reader is thrust into a new situation. The minor sentence following ‘Silence.’ slows the reading entirely, creating a pause where the reader is forced to nervously await the arrival of the T-Rex, and therefore creates this anxiety where the reader feels forced to read on.

Through digressing with the detailed description, the writer moves the reader away from the action. This further builds the tension as the reader, through the physical descriptions, can imagine how the T-Rex may attack the characters and lead them into an inescapable situation. As the story goes on, Eckel’s rapid change in opinion to ‘it can’t be killed’ from his earlier calm and comical reference to ‘the moon’ brings back the readers panic as they sense his fear.

Nearing the end of the extract, the writer uses the repetition of short simple sentences to reflect how the actions of the T Rex can only be processed in this staggered way due to the horror of the characters. The penultimate sentence seems like a cliff-hanger to the story so far, and the break in the end to the paragraph leaves the reader in suspense wondering if the characters had succeeded in killing it. The writer comes to a resolution in the final sentence of the extract to answer the reader’s curiosity, with further suspense created by the two fronted adverbial phrases building up to ‘Tyrannosaurus fell’ to end the action very abruptly and mirror the finality in this murder.

How has the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader?

In the beginning of the extract, the writer begins with introducing the reader to the fact that it was ‘on their first day’ that this mysterious event had occurred. The short length of this introductory paragraph helps the reader the get a sense of Rosie’s tired nature. The limited description of her actions mimics how she can bring herself to do very little ‘after the long drive from London’. Through this, the reader is immediately made to sympathise with Rosie, which the writer may do to create a pitiful first impression of her.

As the text progresses, the focus changes to her children, ‘Sam and Cara’ who were playing’. The long compound sentence describing the children’s actions, depicts Rosie’s admiration of her children as she is able to describe them with great detail. However, these longer sentences are contrasted by the simple sentence beginning with ‘she closed her eyes’. The comma after this, gives the reader a break from the lengthy descriptions, and through this we can understand how lacking and rare it is for Rosie to catch a break.

Through the digression of the text, where the writer zooms in on the description of the garden instead of explaining the ‘stranger child’, the tension is built. Throughout this period, the reader feels hooked to find out who this mystery child is. The later rhetorical question that the speaker, Rosie, asks is the same question that the reader would also wonder, so in this way, the writer fulfils the desires of the reader, which keeps us interested as we expect the story to return to this child.

Nearing the end of the extract, the suspense rises through the use of short, impactful sentences that mirror the way that Rosie is debating what she should do. The cyclical structure, with Rosie returning to the sink, drying ‘her hands hurriedly’ portrays the extract as a short moment in time. In this way, the writer highlights the dozens of thoughts that go through Rosie’s mind in such a short space of time. Furthermore, by the end of this extract, we are completely exhausted, so through fining out that this is simply a fraction of Rosie’s life, we can further feel sympathetic towards her situation, as we too experience it ourselves. The final sentence begins with the conjunction ‘But’, which the reader would expect to be following on from the previous sentence. Despite this, it is in a new sentence and new paragraph, putting extra emphasis on this contrast to reflect Rosie’s utter astonishment, while simultaneously leaving the reader agitated. The reader, through this cliff-hanger ending is frightened of this girl and her ‘distress’ that the reader is left to imagine what might be.

How has the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader?

The extract begins with Rosabel at the corner of the Oxford Circus, depicting the urgency of her life, never being able to catch a break. The focus on her swift and aggressive movements as she ‘swung onto the step’ and ‘grabbed her skirt’ displays how she may always be in a rush, again portraying her busy routine. However, the later comparison between the quick movements and in the next paragraph the ‘staring face’, slows down the pace, mimicking how that now she is on the bus, she can relax for a while. Although, even then Rosabel must sit in the ‘sickening smell of warm humanity’ illustrating the inescapability of poverty. The reader immediately sympathises with her situation and is compelled to read on to find out whether her situation improves.

The writer then dives into a flashback to her day working in the ‘hat shop’, that begins with the positive image of Rosabel ‘smiling’, making the reader expect a heart-warming moment or event that perhaps lightened her day. The change from narrative to dialogue illustrates the way that she is reliving this memory of ‘all that had happened during the day’, and the repeating of ‘must’ in the dialogue immediately depicts the harsh contrast between Rosabel and the customers. This interests us because we realise what Rosabel may not, that both she and the girl have been put in two separate worlds, which neither of them can be accountable for, and that neither of them can understand what it must be like in the other person’s shoes.

Nearing the end of the extract, the tone completely changes, and the reader understands that these customers caused Rosabel’s ‘sudden, ridiculous feeling of anger’. The writer creates this rapid change in emotion in Rosabel to completely deter from the reader’s expectations, demonstrating how Rosabel’s slight jealousy has morphed into anger. Despite this unexpected rise of emotion, the extract ends very passively with Rosabel hearing the girl making another remark. Through this, her anger is portrayed as this wave of emotion, something that she cannot act on or change, but must repress due to her situation.

A student said, ‘I wasn’t at all surprised by the disappearance of the stranger child at the end of the extract. The writer has left us in no doubt that she is just part of Rosie’s imagination.’

I agree to an extent that this part of the source displays Hartop’s cruelty and how hard he is towards his family. However, although it is evident that we are made to sympathise with Alice, not all of the reader’s sympathy is with her.

Bates very clearly depicts Hartop’s cruelty through the constant use of imperatives and exclamative sentences that make every phrase Hartop utters a command. He repeatedly orders in a ‘raised’ voice ‘Go on!’ and ‘For something’, exemplifying his fury and loss of control over his temper. As this is a direct response of Alice’s almost robotic indifferent attitude shown through the simple sentence ‘Alice stood mute’, it could suggest that Hartop wishes to emotionally perturb his daughter, with his failure to do so causing frustration. Bates does this to create a very disturbing image of Hartop, making the reader’s view of him profoundly negative.

Furthermore, Alice’s ‘journey’ through the rain to rind what has fallen from the rood creates sympathy for her since it seems she has no choice but to accept her father’s callous instructions. The repeated use of ‘accept’ could suggest that she in fact does not want to ‘accept’ this, yet at the same time must obey ‘without a word’. Moreover, the physical effect the rain has on her can be seen through the use of the powerful verbs ‘veer’ and ‘smash’, perhaps symbolising Hartop’s treatment of her and suggesting that the weather’s cruel infliction of suffering is a direct order from Hartop. Through this the reader can feel sympathy for Alice with the visual image of her walking ‘In the rain and the darkness’ with no indication as to how far she must travel.

However, despite this it is not all of our sympathy that is with Alice, since as a result of Hartop’s relentless focus on Alice, he pays absolutely no attention to his wife. This is made evident through Bate’s limited references to Mrs Hartop, and the few that are made portray her as an inconvenience. Hartop ‘leaned across his wife’ and despite the fact that ‘The woman moved to protest’ Hartop ignored her. This demonstrates his lack of awareness of others and how to Hartop his wife is no more than a nuisance, causing the reader to sympathise with her also.     

Still, Bates returns to Alice’s situation and creates a change from her very unfeeling and obeying attitude to elevate the sympathy felt for her. Previously, Bates depicts Alice as very robotic as emphasised by her lack or hurrying despite the ‘recurrent rain’. Here, the alliteration highlights this dull and repetitive nature. However, this is juxtaposed by the ‘squares of yellow’ which ‘transformed into sudden stars’, where the soft sibilance of ‘sudden stars’ could indicate a trace of hope in Alice. This humanises her to the reader, allowing us to pity Alice and her coercingly repressed dreams.

A student said, ‘In this part of the story, where Zoe and Jake are caught in the avalanche, I can’t believe Zoe is so slow to react to the warning signs because, in the end, the situation sounds really dangerous.’

In the passage, Joyce demonstrates the development of Zoe’s realisation of the avalanche, allowing the reader to realise beforehand, and therefore making her reaction seem slow. It further cannot be denied that in the end the situation is very dangerous, so Zoe’s lack of response is unbelievable.

The passage begins with multiple warning signs to show that a disaster is coming, it is therefore plausible to say that Zoe’s reactions are slow and ultimately too late to save her from the situation. Joyce signifies to the reader how evident it is that an avalanche will come through constant foreshadowing, such as through opening the paragraph with the connective   ‘but’ , clearly indicating at a turning point. This is followed by the use of the verb ‘whisper’, which personifies her skis, almost as if they too are attempting to warn Zoe, and yet her actions in response to this are not described, leading the reader to believe that she is unable to process these signs. Joyce elevates how Zoe is completely oblivious by highlighting that she is ‘irritated by the false start’ implying that her mind is somewhere completely else in contrast to her husband who ‘had come to a halt at the side’. Joyce uses this technique in order to build the tension, where we as readers are desperate to try to help Zoe in some way, therefore allowing them to emotionally interact with the plot, and in turn the reader also feels ‘irritated’, but instead at Zoe’s lack of response.

Moreover, Joyce further hints at these warning signals later on through the use of the short simple sentence ‘the rumble became louder’, which furthers the tension concerning the incoming avalanche. The comparison of the ‘grey smoke’ to ‘the of armies’ in a simile is yet another signifier to foreshadow the destruction to come, yet Zoe’s reaction seems out of place demonstrating how slow she is to react. The brevity of her response ‘it made her smile’ suggests her short-sighted ill-judged perception, hence making this reaction unbelievable.

However, perhaps this reaction is plausible since these warning signs that Joyce describes may only be evident to the reader as it is a third person omniscient narrator, and Zoe does, in fact, react almost immediately when ‘a smooth slab of snow’ slipped from underneath her. The complex sentence to follow demonstrates how quickly and rationally Zoe reacts; through this Joyce is suggesting that Zoe feels as if she had dodged the potential disaster, and therefore is perhaps less aware of her surroundings. In this way, her later delay to react is not unbelievable, but the result of her body’s assurance that danger has been alleviated.

In spite of this, Joyce shows the situation to be very dangerous through both the structure of the paragraphs in the passage and detailed depiction of the couple tossed round in the avalanche. Firstly, the sheer size of the final paragraph (despite the time period of it being just a few seconds) with such densely packed description highlights the overwhelming danger of this situation and also suspends the reader at length in the tension of it making it seem all the more dangerous. Joyce employs a range of powerful verbs, such as ‘punched’ ‘turned’ and ‘dumped’ to personify the avalanche andemphasise the brutality of it. However, the experience is then related to ‘being agitated inside a washing machine’ causing the reader to imagine Zoe as a piece of clothing and not a fragile human, which creates the complete opposite effect suggesting that she will leave unharmed. We are reminded, however, of the danger with her ‘rib-cracking fall’, therefore perhaps Joyce’s use of imagery there is to provide a moment of relief for the reader. As a result, it is clear that the student’s statement in the end this sudden disaster proves very dangerous for the couple.

A student said, ‘This part of the story, set in the hat shop, shows that the red-haired girl has many advantages in life, and I think Rosabel is right to be angry.’

Through the passage, the reader is made to sympathise with Rosabel and see how the entitlement of the red-haired girl has made her to become filled with fury. Despite this, the girl’s kind nature suggests that Rosabel has no right to be angry.

The description of the girl with ‘beautiful red hair’ and ‘with skin’ as well as the comparison to her eyes as ‘the colour of that green ribbon shot with gold’ all exemplify her social superiority to Rosabel, a lower-class girl. The noun ‘gold’ heightens the luxurious nature of the red-haired girl in comparison to Rosabel, who must ‘run’ ‘breathlessly’ in order to meet the demands of Harry and the girl. This suggests that the girl does have many advantages in life, and ca perhaps exploit her power over Rosabel in order to ‘have’ the hat.

Through the orders and imperative verbs that the girl uses, the reader gets the sense of her demanding and spoilt nature. She asks, ‘Let me see how it looks on you’ and exclaims ‘I must have that!’. The writer does this to make the reader’s impression of the girl as a negative one, therefore feeling sympathy for Rosabel, who must comply with the many dozens of orders she is given. As Rosabel suddenly gets angry, with a ‘feeling of anger’ that ‘seized’ her, we understand that she is overwhelmed by the orders. She feels resentment towards the girl, who is so entitled and privileged, that she doesn’t seem to think or care about anything else other than her desire for the hat. Through this, it is clear that Rosabel is right to be angry, and the reader joins Rosabel in this furry against the entitled upper-class.

On the other hand, there are also many points on the passage where the red-haired girl is not necessarily seen as the enemy or antagonist. Through her laughter at her companion, Harry’s demanding of ‘the impossible’, the reader sees a glimpse of humanity in her. It suggests that the girl may feel sympathetic and apologetic that Rosabel must run around to fulfil through Harry’s wishes. Furthermore, the girl goes on to complement Rosabel, describing her as ‘adorable’ and saying how it ‘suits’ her ‘beautifully’ displaying the girl’s kindness and hinting at the fact that Rosabel may in fact be ‘ridiculous to be angry’.

Overall, I agree that the red-haired girl has many advantages; however, although I can sympathise with Rosabel’s character, I feel that she has perhaps over-reacted to the girl, who has actually been quite polite and nice to her.

• Have a few stories in mind before you go into the exam, so that you can choose the story that fits best with the prompt.
• Make a quick plan (5 mins max).
• 2-3 sides is enough (writing much more than this can mean that your writing does not have sustained crafting).
• Make sure paragraph lengths are varied (unless it is for effect).
• Include a variety of punctuation (but make sure you know how to use each of them and the effect they can have on a piece of writing).